Note: In November 2018 I was diagnosed with severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea.Check my most recent posts on sleep apnea.
I just watched Session 7, on awareness of stress patterns; which seems very relevant to me. I constantly seem to be on the verge of overwhelm, reminding myself to back off a bit and take things easy. Part of me keeps shouting “But I don’t want to! Yes, there’s a lot to do, but I want to go out and do it!”. Yet when I commit to something and end up feeling overwhelmed, I stop caring and just want to give up. Then I feel bad about not caring any more, and wish I could give a damn.
I made my usual mistake of having an afternoon lie down yesterday, because I was feeling really exhausted after coming home from acting class. Woke up after an hour or so feeling absolutely wretched; I just never usually feel that bad. Then I dragged my sorry ass to my Toastmasters committee meeting last night, where a headache gradually got worse and worse. I’m torn because part of me wants to contribute more, part of me wants to be doing something professional where I get paid, and part of me just wants to rest and get better. I made resting and getting better my goal for 2010, so for the time being, it’s got to be the winner.
I’m reading a really interesting book at the moment called The Sedona Method, which describes a way of releasing emotions which is a little similar to the basis for Soften and Flow, and should calm the amygdala. I’ll comment more about it when I’ve finished, but it looks very interesting. I’d be interested if anyone else has used this method for releasing anxiety or other emotions associated with CFS.
After having a lousy headachey night last night, I’m spending the day relaxing, watching Session 7 on the DVD, reading the book I just mentioned and doing some washing, before meeting up with a very sweet and attractive girl from my acting class for coffee this afternoon. Nothing like pretty girl to boost a young-at-heart man’s energy levels!
PS: If you’re in Australia, there is a show on ABC tonight entitled Stress: Portrait of a Killer which looks worth catching.
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3 Comments
Lee Lee · April 9, 2010 at 12:08 PM
It may have been Endep which is what I am talking. At a normal dose it is an anti depressant but a low dose it’s good for sleep. I had to take it for 2-3 weeks before it started to have any effect for me ….
Lee Lee · April 9, 2010 at 10:16 AM
How are you sleeping of a night time? The reason I ask is because my Dr asked me that question and I said ‘fine’. He explained to me the different levels of sleep and said even if you sleep all the way through you may not be reaching that deep level of sleep (level 4 apparantly?). Anyway, so he suggested I take something for a few week to see if things were any different. So he put me on a very very low dose of Endep and I now sleep all the way through (like before) but I sleep longer and I am certain I sleep deeper. I have noticably for energy or pep and feel more refreshed than previously. So my concusion is that although I had though my sleep was OK it really wasnt and this change is helping me feel better … have a think abut it if you haven’t already been down this path.
Graham · April 9, 2010 at 11:01 AM
Interesting… I was prescribed an anti-depressant at one stage to help me get to sleep, but I didn’t find it made any difference. However, I didn’t think that it might improve the quality of the sleep once I got there. I’ll dig it out again and look at what it was.