Negative Thought Diary about CFS

This is my Negative Thought Diary about CFS and its symptoms, as recommended in Sessions 1 and 4 of The Advanced ME/CFS Recovery Programme with Ashok Gupta:

Anticipation of Symptoms

  • I can’t do what I want to do because I’m exhausted all the time
  • I want to go dancing, but it will make me feel really ill again.
  • I’d take up Brazilian Jiu Jitsu to handle the tension, but I don’t think I could handle it physically.

Attention on Symptoms

  • God, I feel tired.
  • My head feels all stuffy
  • My nose is always running; I keep having to clear it
  • I feel like I have a cold
  • I’m too tired to finish the book I was writing. I can’t write humour when I’m so exhausted anyway.
  • Sneezing just reminds me that I’m sick all the time

Body Scanning

  • I wish I could make this tense feeling go away
  • I feel tight in the chest. I don’t like it.

Will I ever get better?

  • What if the Gupta programme doesn’t work for me? What if I give up too early?
  • My attempts to overcome my anxiety with women might just stress me out and keep me feeling ill.
  • I promised my friend I’d try the homeopathic remedies he suggested, but I don’t think they’ll make any difference.

Frustration and Anger at Being Ill

  • God, it’s annoying being sick all the time.
  • This Deep Breathing business is hard work. Why should I have to do this anyway?
  • I’m a bad person for not wanting to work hard at getting well.
  • I’m just tired of the whole thing.

Nobody Understands Me

  • I’m desperate for people to understand me
  • I felt angry when my father laughed at me asking for a long-lost-friend’s number because he used to suffer from Chronic Fatigue.
  • I wish my family understood what I’m going through and showed more interest/concern
  • What woman would want to date me when I can’t do anything active?
  • People will think I’m crazy if they hear me shouting “Stop Stop Stop”

Dietary Worries

  • I’m out of food… I need to shop!
  • Maybe I just haven’t worked out what I’m “allergic” to yet.

Sleep Worries

  • I wish I could get to sleep, but my mind keeps racing with stuff I’m excited about.
  • I want an interesting, exciting life… but I can’t get to sleep when stuff is going on.

Feelings About The Recovery Programme

  • This programme is boring. I hate being bored. I doubt I’ll follow through with it.
  • This STOP-STOP-STOP shit isn’t going to work
  • This is just more New Age bullshit. It won’t work for me.
  • Ashok Gupta is a …

2 thoughts on “Negative Thought Diary about CFS”

  1. All very typical thoughts of an over “andrenalized” CFS sufferer. This is exactly what the Amygdala wants you to think so it can continue running your body. We all breathe incorrectly and it was long time into this program before I found the correct way to breathe. So concentrate on the Soften and Flow… helps to calm the body.
    There are no short cuts with the program…..Once your Amydgala gives up the fight you will slip into it all much more easily by just continually blocking those negative feelings with STOP You will start to feel joy in your life as you begin to tell yourself you are doing something about your own healing. Ashok said remember the Amygdala is like a frightened child, responding to everything, it needs to be pacified. Have you read the book “the brain that changes itself”……..very interesting.

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