I’ve been using the free meditation download they offer, and I quite like it. I figure anything that reduces stress is good for this illness whatever the underlying cause turns out to be. I could relate to a lot of what they say in their Essentials Guide which you get for free when you register on the site. I am a A Type driven person, and many of my friends with CFS are (or at least, were before they fell ill) too. They take a holistic approach and are offering a support community, which is probably particularly helpful if you don’t know anyone else who is suffering from CFS, has recovered or really understands what we go through. I don’t know if it’s worth 19 pounds a month, but I’ve spent a lot more than that on my recovery so far. It’s probably worth at least having a look at what they’re offering.

That said, I sure hope they have a sense of humour! After you enter your email address, watch their video.

Then have a look at this hilarous parody:

After all, laughter is the best stress relief…

Anyway, I spent much of my time either relaxing at the house, writing content for my blogs, or working down at the local library which had free internet access and was open Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I don’t work Saturdays. They dolled out the internet access in 2 hour blocks, and eventually I realized that if I only worked 2 hours maximum per day, I didn’t get headaches but did have a sense of moving forward. After work each day I went and either lay on the beach or sat by the lake and just relaxed. It was beautifully peaceful and quiet up there, far away from the crazy city life I normally live. I didn’t really feel very lonely. A few friends came and visited which was great, and I had heaps of books to read and DVDs to watch to occupy my time. I was a mixed blessing that the wireless internet adaptor I’d bought didn’t work well enough at the house for me to work from home; kinda forced me to take a bit of a break on Tuesday and Thursdays when the library was closed.

While I was away I finally got around to doing some Internet research into Adrenal Fatigue. A girl in my acting class last year said she suffered from it, and it immediately sounded very familiar. I stumbled upon the Wikipedia article on Neurasthenia, a.k.a. Nervous Exhaustion, which also matches my symptoms very closely. Sounds pretty consistent with Ashok Gupta’s hypothesis and many of the suggestions in the Gupta program match the advice given in Dr Lam’s article on Adrenal Fatigue. I’m going to be following this advice more closely; especially the bits about diet, going to bed earlier, and taking B-group vitamin supplements. I feel nervous a lot of the time, find it hard to relax and always feel like there’s a lot of stuff to do, which all fits the pattern.

I’ve also been continuing my morning Yoga, breathwork and meditation almost every day; except a few times when I’ve woken up with a really bad headache or just felt too cranky to bother. But they’re in the minority. It seems to be gradually calming my nervous system and I’m not feeling so resistant to doing it. I feel a little less jumpy and shaky. The weather at home is warmer now, so I do it out in the backyard behind my block of units in the sun. I start off with Surya Namaskara (salute to the sun) which is a bit silly to do it in my living room where there is no sun. First time I ventured into the backyard to do it, I worried about the neighbours in the other units thinking I looked ridiculous… downward facing dog and all; but I’m getting over my fear of what other people think.

The other obvious thing about nervous exhaustion is that the cure involves large amounts of rest. That means doing nothing, which I struggle with so I’ve borrowed a heap of guided meditation CDs from the local library to help with that. Meditainment Stress Relief and The Stress First Aid Kit are my favourites so far.

My other exciting news is I’ve won two Toastmasters humorous speech contests lately, meaning I progress to the next level. I’d love to be a comedian one day when my health is back, and I’ve been studying everything I can get my hands on about comedy. Besides, laughter is a great stress relief. I hope you’ve had a laugh today!

Meanwhile, I’ve persisted in doing my morning yoga/breathwork/meditation ala Art of Living, and it seems to be working. My experience of this cold has been relatively mild. I know there’s something more going on than my usual flu-like symptoms, because the phlegm is chunky and yellow. Oh gross. Aren’t you glad to learn about that?

I’ve also got hold of some Blackmores PPMP (Potassium Phosphate/Magnesium Phosphate) that another CFS blogger said worked wonders for him. It’s part of their practitioner range so not all chemists stock it, and they have to have certain credentials even to order it. But if you call the Blackmores‘ info line on 1 800 803 760 (in Australia) they can tell you a pharmacy nearby who can order it for you. Or it looks like you can buy it online from EMed if you fill in their health survey. I don’t know what’s available that’s equivalent for those of you outside Australia.

Aside from the cold, things haven’t been too bad. I’ve been preparing to go away to visit my sister’s holiday house for a couple of months to get a change of scenery. I’ll be lonely, so please Skype me if you’re ill and want to chat, or if you’re well and want to chat! My plan is to finish a book I started writing a few years ago pre-CFS… let’s see if I’ve still got it in me. No doubt I’ll work on one or more of my blogs while I’m away too, as I have some half-finished articles ready to go.

I’ve even done my tax return for 2010/11, earlier than ever in history. So I’ll be financially viable at least until I get back. The kitchen is a mess and I need to clean out the fridge and a cupboard with an exploded tin in it before I go. But aside from that, things are going OK for me. How about you?

By the way, I’ve met some pretty cool people via this blog. If you want to set up a blog to help you connect with other people while you recover, check out my Build Your Own Blog website, starting with this article on How to Build Your Own Blog using WordPress.

On the weekend I finally got around to doing the Art of Living course. It’s recommended by Ashok in the Gupta Programme, and another friend of mine with CFS appears to be recovering while practicing the Art of Living techniques every day.

The techniques involve a combination of Yoga, meditation and breath work. I left on a high after the first evening… went to the supermarket and couldn’t help but notice that I felt more confident interacting with the staff there. One of the guys offered to give me a discount of the barbequed chickens just because I asked what the story with them was. You can’t normally barter in a supermarket here! Another suggested that I should come back at 4pm because that’s when the nicest checkout chicks were there. Everyone seemed friendlier and more laid-back mood than normal; or was it just that I was, so I was more aware?

After the second day, I felt really tired. The breath work element (called Sudarshan Kriya) is really tiring to maintain. I kept wanting to stop, to give up. The leader said “just keep going, no matter what!”. I have a lot of resistance to this whole self-discipline thing and it certainly kicks in when I do this practise. When we get to the end, I feel a mixture of exhausted and elated. All that extra oxygen seems to pack quite a punch, and banging your head against a brick wall feels great when you stop.

Day three we learned the home practice, and some Art of Living philosophy: good basic stuff about spreading kindness, living in the moment, letting go of fear and regret. A helpful reminder to lots of good stuff I’ve heard on courses before. I was pretty zonked by the end, and came home to bed where I slept pretty soundly.

The challenge comes after the course: you have to practice what you learned each morning for about 30 minutes. I’ve attempted morning Yoga before, and always given up after a couple of days. But I can see that if I don’t move my body at all, I just feel wretched and jittery. I’ve lost all my flexibility over the last 3 years; I even have trouble putting socks on now because it’s hard to reach my toes. Yoga is good for flexibility. I also think the breath work is the thing that will make the difference, but I find myself resisting enormously. Part of me would rather keep living on the adrenaline high, and doesn’t want to have to do these silly breathing exercises. I think I’m just a big kid who hasn’t grown up and doesn’t want to do his homework.

Another part of me, though, is determined to get well. So I will do my daily yoga/meditation/breath work, goddam it!

If Ashok did the daily practice recommended by Art of Living, I suspect it had a greater effect on his recovery than the Stop-Stop-Stop business. So the central technique in his programme is looking a bit dubious to me now.

Anyone else done the Art of Living? How are you going with the daily practice?

What helped more this week was going to a sharing group that formed after my last path of love, and talking about just how scared I feel. I found myself crying unexpectedly. I think my inner child has a lot of nervous tension locked away. Releasing some of that made me feel a lot better. I’ll be going to the group regularly, so I’m hoping for more similar breakthroughs. This weekend I’m studying David Shade’s Erotic Hypnosis program… I’m fascinated by the power of the mind so this should be interesting!

Spent this morning writing an article for my blog, then went back to bed until a good friend rang for a chat which was great. My eyes feel really tired and I had trouble sleeping last night so I’m back off to bed this afternoon I think. Don’t really want to stare at a screen all afternoon. This week I want to get out and catch up with some friends… re-enter the land of the living.

Spent the morning posting a couple of articles on confidence to ezinearticles and articlesbase. One of them, ironically, is titled Get more Confidence by Going to Lunch. I won’t be doing that any time soon. Also uploaded a presentation based on an interview I did with my cousin yesterday talking about how to gain confidence using neuro linguistic programming (NLP). Phoned a friend for her birthday, and made her laugh… lots. I like that. The afternoon plan is to chill out playing a bit of guitar, and listen to some MP3′s I’ve downloaded on various personal & business development topics.

All in all, I don’t feel as bad or as hungry as I expected. Let’s not tempt fate though, eh? Still feel like I have a mild cold and slightly tense, so no obvious reduction in chronic fatigue symptoms yet. The rest is probably doing me good since I’m not going out at all, and I feel happy enough to get by.

I feel a bit hungry, but not as bad as what I expected. I certainly feel better without the headache. That lemonade stuff is tasting rather ghastly. Wonder how it’ll taste on day 7? I’ve had some discouraging comments on Facebook about doing the detox, which just reminds me that there are plenty of nay-sayers out there. I need to make decisions for myself without worrying what other people think, and to do what’s seems right for me regardless. Maybe it’ll work; maybe not… but I’ll never know if I don’t try.