Emotional Intelligence Webinar IGNITE: Energy for Life!

One of my most helpful mentors is a guy named Nicholas de Castella, who developed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome after a series of particularly stressful life events. He fully recovered years ago, and attributes his recovery to developing and using emotional intelligence.

I remember asking Nicholas during a private phone conversation a couple of years ago about his experience of CFS, and he said “Oh yeah; I’d forgotten about that”. I thought at the time: “That’s where I want to be!”

Nicholas gave up his previous career as an architect to teach what he learned to other people for a living, and since then he has helped thousands of people go from feeling stuck, blocked and frustrated to creating a wonderful life, relationship, and career of their dreams.

If you happen to be feeling tired, burnt out or overwhelmed and would like to ignite some energy and move forward in your life, then Nicholas has an exciting opportunity for you.

Nicholas is holding a complimentary emotional intelligence webinar called:

IGNITE: Energy for Life!

IGNITE is a fun and informative 60 minute training on using Emotional Intelligence to increase energy for life by mastering burnout (including overwhelm, anxiety, chronic fatigue and adrenal fatigue).

He can show you how to have more energy, be more productive, boost well-being, improve relationships and achieve success with more joy and ease.

IGNITE will be held on WEDNESDAY 18th OCTOBER 2017 8.00 PM (Australian Eastern Daylight Time)

If the time doesn’t work for you, go ahead and register for the webinar anyway, and you’ll be sent the recording afterwards.

As a bonus for attending the webinar you also receive the IGNITE PACK consisting of:

  1. IGNITE: Energy for Life! Webinar recording
  2. IGNITE: Energy for Life! E-book Guide. Things to do to pep up your energy
  3. Rejuvenation Meditation – Create a calm inner state to boost your energy

To register click on this link.

Nicholas is a legend and I’m sure you will really enjoy his presentation.

In the meantime, take care
Graham

Free Emotional Intelligence Webinar

One of my mentors, Nicholas de Castella, attributes part of his recovery from Chronic Fatigue to emotional intelligence. He’s running a free webinar on 14th October 2015 at 7pm Australian Eastern Daylight time on using emotional intelligence to create breakthroughs in life. I learned a lot of what I use in my coaching from teachers like Nicholas.

If you’re interested in learning more, click here for the details.

My Thoughts on The Lightning Process

A thunderstorm has just passed over my place, so maybe the universe is telling me to answer this question I got via email recently:

Hi, I’ve had this hideous illness since 1998. However, I enjoyed approx 6 years of feeling quite well but with symptoms at times. I could walk up to 3 hours a day and was extremely fit. Four years ago I went through some massive stress that’s still not quite worked out but getting there and relapsed. I’m devastated. The recovery is taking forever and I never saw this coming. One lady I did know very well with CFS claims she is healed by the lightning process. So much so that she’s become a practitioner herself. She says I’m choosing to be sick because I won’t do it too. I’ve read heaps on it and found lot’s of disturbing anecdotes along with positive. Just wondering what your thoughts are on this?

I haven’t done The Lightning Process myself, but a very good friend of mine who has almost completely recovered from CFS has, so I asked him for his thoughts. Here’s his reply:

It has been one of my main influences in a positive way.

Worth the money

And it nicely pulls together a lot of the other stuff I did that I value.

I would recommend it to anyone who feels called…

Between my friend and I, we’ve done just about every physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual therapy out there in order to get well. I’m convinced that the ultimate underlying cause of CFS is overwhelming stress compounded by emotional trauma, being expressed by our body and nervous system.

My understanding is that The Lightning Process is a collection of tools for breaking stressful thought and behavior patterns that led to chronic hyper-activation of our sympathetic nervous system; and all the weird-ass symptoms that result from that.

In previous conversations with my friend, the three things I’ve heard him talk about that appeared most valuable from his experience of The Lightning Process are:

  1. The concept of “positive editing”: reframing every experience that we have to see the beneficial side, and changing the language we use both externally and internally to reflect this. Our nervous system is listening to our thoughts, and some thoughts are more frightening than others. So rather than thinking of it as a “hideous illness”, try thinking of it as an opportunity to learn more about what is really important to you.
  2. Taking responsibility in our thoughts and language for the fact that we created the illness and the symptoms that go with it.
  3. Having a coach. My friend has consistently talked about the benefit of the ongoing coaching that he got after doing the initial Lightning Process training. In fact, my friend is now a transformation coach himself.

I don’t really want to say much more given that I haven’t actually done it myself. I know some people struggle with taking responsibility for their illness, and see this as blaming the victim. I think shifting out of victim mentality is one of the key ingredients to recovering, and for me that means taking action on the things that are important to me. If the Lightning Process helps you do that, then it’s probably a good thing.

Noting that one of the really valuable things to my friend was having a coach, I want to remind you that I’m currently offering 3 months free recovery coaching for people with CFS in return for you filling in 3 monthly surveys. While I’m not trained in The Lightning Process, I believe the tools that I can teach you for dealing with the emotions and stress of being ill are at least comparable, if not better.

I had a first conversation this morning with a new client who has been ill with CFS for 17 years, and immediately identified that she has been internalizing her anger most of her life. I taught her how to express anger constructively, and she’s already starting to see things differently. I also got to see that even though I’m not 100% recovered yet, I have something valuable to offer and can start helping people now.

Three people have already taken up the offer, so I only have 2 coaching slots left. Please let me know if you’re interested.

Cheers,
Graham

CFS and The Law of Attraction

I’ve just finished reading the book The Law of Attraction by Esther and Jerry Hicks, and it has some interesting ideas that I believe are relevant to anyone wanting to recover from CFS. I had to get past the New Age business about channeling messages from non-physical beings in order to access the wisdom in the book, but with that done:

The first idea is that you get what you focus on in life, rather than what you want. Now given the intensity of the symptoms associated with CFS, it’s natural that we end up spending a lot of time focusing on our symptoms. After all, the whole point of physical symptoms is to get our attention. But I found that focusing on my symptoms simply set up a vicious cycle of anxiety that probably just made the symptoms even worse. Better to focus on activity that ultimately makes us well than on symptoms that just create more suffering.

The other idea from the book that resonates with me is what they call our Emotional Guidance System. The idea here is that our unconscious mind sends messages about what is important to us via our emotions. If the emotion is pleasant, it tells us that were on the right path. If the emotion is unpleasant, that tells us that we are headed in the wrong direction and need to turn around.

This is very similar to the idea in Mickel Therapy that our symptoms are simply trying to tell us something important, and that we need to start paying attention to what they’re saying if we want to get well again. It’s just that as highly sensitive people, the messages appear as debilitating physical symptoms rather than just as emotions.

Most of my life, I considered my emotions to be an inconvenience at best, and a massive problem to deal with at worst. So the idea that they could actually be a useful guidance system is intriguing to me. It seems obvious when you think about it that our emotions are telling us important information, but I have to admit that most of my healing journey has been about trying to get my challenging emotions to go away by expressing them, rather than to listen to what actually trying to tell me.

Much of the book talks about creating the life we want by imagining a future associated with positive emotions rather than focusing on negative emotions associated with our current reality. Now there’s nothing new about the idea of imagining being well when you’re feeling unwell, but an interesting point that they add is that if what you imagine is too different from your current reality, it’s likely to be associated with unpleasant emotions rather than pleasant ones; because it seems unachievable.

For instance, if you can’t even imagine being 100% better, you’re likely to feel unpleasant feelings when you think about it. In that case, they would suggest that you imagine feeling just a little bit better, but perhaps not 100%, so that what you imagine still seems realistic enough to have positive emotions attached to it. Think a constant stream of thoughts that have positive emotions attached, and your find yourself feeling better and creating the life you really want.

This sounds blatantly obvious once you’ve heard it: Of course all of us are motivated to have more pleasant emotions and less unpleasant ones. And I have to admit that I wonder how the role of past trauma factors into this, where we’re left with emotionally charged memories that leave us with a distorted sense of reality. Conventional emotional healing wisdom says that you have to be willing to feel the unpleasant emotion in order to heal it. I think Hicks would say to just continue thinking thoughts that generate pleasant emotions, and don’t worry about all the trauma in your unconscious mind. Maybe I’ll ask her when she visits Sydney in September.

The other interesting point from the book is what they call The Art of Allowing, which is very similar to the Buddhist notion of acceptance. They’re particularly big on allowing other people to be who they are, to do what they do, and to have the experience that they currently having, rather than trying to fight with other people all the time. I can see how much of the stress in my life has come about by not accepting that other people are the way they are.

The other aspect of allowing, is allowing yourself to have what it is that you want: the health that you want, the vitality that you want, the fun that you want, the energy that you want, the relationships that you want. In short, the life that you want.

The final idea in the book is what they call Segment Intending, which is the idea of breaking your day down into small segments each of which have an achievable positive emotionally charged intention; rather than trying to tackle everything in one hit. A bit like clearing things off your To-Do list one at a time to avoid overwhelm. Every time you have a small segment of your day with positive emotions, you’re heading in the right direction.

Emotional Intelligence and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

One of my most influential mentors, Nicholas de Castella suffered from CFS way back before it was a household name. He attributes his recovery to developing emotional intelligence and learning to express in a healthy manner the feelings that he had previously repressed. I know this is a little controversial since the symptoms of CFS clearly appear in the body and most of us think of emotions as centred in the brain; but the more holistic approaches to emotional mastery recognise that emotions in the brain are connected to physical sensations in the body via our nervous system.

So the idea that suppressing powerful emotions for a long period could make you physically sick starts to make sense. I note that Mickel Therapy treats symptoms and bodily sensations as manifestations of unconscious needs that our body is attempting to alert us to. Meet the need, and the symptom disappears. The Gupta Program similarly treats physical sensations as stuck emotion in its meditations.

Breakthrough To FreedomWhether you buy into all this or not, developing your emotional intelligence can only be a good thing. If it cures your CFS, that’s a bonus. With this in mind, I thought I’d let you know that Nicholas is running a free online breakthrough training session on Saturday 11 October at 11.00 am Australian EDT time, for anyone interested in dealing with emotions that are holding you back in life. I’ve heard his presentation before and he makes a brief mention of his experience of Chronic Fatigue. He’s fully recovered and now works as an emotional intelligence teacher, so you might like to check out what he has to say. Click here to join the free Breakthrough to Freedom training session.